The forgiveness that God recommends to us is magnificent and pacifying, even liberating and uplifting. It has nothing to do with gritting our teeth and swallowing the evil we have suffered, nor with staged generosity. True forgiveness broadens our view so that we can recognize and appreciate God's plan for us personally.
Jacob’s sons initially intended to slay(1) Joseph, but instead cast him into an empty pit(2) and then sold him into slavery out of greed for profit(3). In Egypt, he was imprisoned because of his moral standards(4). Wouldn’t that have been reason enough for Joseph to become bitter?
Joseph was released from prison because he interpreted the pharaoh’s dream of seven fat years followed by seven lean years(5). During the seven fat years, he stored immense quantities of grain(6). During the seven lean years “the dearth was in all lands; but in all the land of Egypt there was bread.”(7) Father Jacob sent his sons to Egypt to buy grain that they may live and not die(8). Upon completing the purchase, Joseph restored the money into his brothers’ sacks(9). The next time they bought grain, his brothers wanted to pay the purchase price for the first grain purchase. However, Joseph preempted them: “Peace be to you, fear not: your God, and the God of your father, hath given you treasure in your sacks: I had your money.”(10) In a dramatic way, Joseph managed to bring his entire family to Egypt. He revealed himself to his brothers in tears: “I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt. Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. […] So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.“(11) Since then, Joseph had provided generously for his extended family. After their father Jacob had died, his brothers feared his revenge and asked for forgiveness: “forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. […] And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”(12)
For Joseph, forgiveness was a joy: if his brothers had not sold him into slavery in Egypt, he would never have gone out over all the land of Egypt; he would never have been able to save the lives of thousands of people with the grain stored up. When his brothers wanted to pay for the grain, he did not accept any money, but regarded the reunion with his brothers as heavenly payment. He did not even take credit for secretly returning the money but explained it to be God’s gift to his brothers. When he revealed himself to them, he explained and expressed appreciation for God’s plan and the tasks he had been given(13). Therefore, he did not hold his brothers’ cruel behavior against them. He saw it as a door through which he could be a blessing to his family and thousands of other people(14). Joseph never abandoned this view. Even after his father Jacob had died, he reaffirmed to his brothers that although they had acted with evil intent, by this God had given him the opportunity to bless many people.
This perspective is in no way intended to justify, trivialize, or even support evil. But it is liberating when we invite God into our trials and give him the opportunity to be a blessing to others through our pain. Try it. Make a conscious decision. It's worth it.
(1) Genesis 37:17–21.
(2) Genesis 37:24.
(3) Genesis 37:26.
(4) Genesis 39:8–20.
(5) Genesis 41:29–30.
(6) Genesis 41:49.
(7) Genesis 41:54.
(8) Genesis 42:2.
(9) Genesis 42:25.
(10) Genesis 43:23.
(11) Genesis 45:4–8.
(12) Genesis 50:15–20.
(13) Comp. Doctrine and Covenants 59:21.
(14) Comp. Moses 5:11.