Twenty five years ago this September, Jenny and I were married in Australia. We met two years earlier in Chicago on a work trip, and just two days after meeting her I had this thought pop into my head “you’re going to marry this girl”. That flash of inspiration led me on a journey from London to Australia in order to take Jenny on a date, then to Church. She was baptised 4 months later and moved to London so we could date some more. We got engaged in Italy less than a year later, married in Sydney, then sealed in the London Temple, and subsequently became parents to our four wonderful boys. It was a whirlwind romance!
As we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary I look back with amazement at how quickly I fell in love and how simple my understanding of love was. The last 25 years have taught me that love is much more than that initial feeling of ‘falling in love’ – and has more to do with service and teamwork, where two friends help each other on their journey to become who God designed them to be. In our marriage we have had our fair share of ups and downs, with tears and heartache, as well as joy and happiness – that’s all part of the plan. And while our story may have begun with ‘love at first sight’, it has grown into a completely different kind of love. Love ‘the feeling’ inevitably comes and goes, but love ‘the verb’ sustains and strengthens a marriage and can create the most cherished of relationships.
I see many parallels with our spiritual conversion, and the process of becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. We are all blessed with the light of Christ within us (1), and each of us has unique experiences with rays of light that help us build a testimony of God and His son Jesus Christ (2). But those spiritual experiences don’t necessarily constitute conversion or give us an unshakable faith. We all experience times where we don’t feel close to God, perhaps when trials or doubts cause us to wobble; as Alma the High Priest points out with this inspired question “And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?” (3)
Like Love in a marriage, our Faith in Jesus Christ needs constant nourishment, watering and daily sunlight, as explained in Alma 32 (4). For most of us, conversion comes “line upon line, precept upon precept; here a little, and there a little;” (5). The process of becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ is a life-long pursuit, and one that can bring us joy.
Our joy in the gospel of Jesus Christ comes from progressing along the covenant path, and as we do so, building a close, personal relationship with our Father in Heaven. “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you…” (6). As we strive to draw near unto Him, we feel His love more abundantly in our lives and we learn to love Him more fully. We begin to fulfil the measure of our creation and reach our divine potential, and experiencing peace in our hearts.
So, after 25 years of marriage and 50 years of church attendance, I’m realising that the essence of a happy life is all about relationships; both with my Father in Heaven and my wife. And that there are parallels between how those relationships start and develop over time. I’m so grateful that my Heavenly Father and my wife are both so forgiving, patient and supportive of my feeble efforts, and that they both show me so much love. As I focus my time, talents and energies on these two covenant relationships, everything else seems to fall into place. And as I work on just one of those relationships, it seems to help me with the other one.
The path to conversion, like a marriage, may begin with a flash of inspiration, but will blossom into covenant relationship with God, where we are filled with His love.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
- Moroni 7:16; John 1:9
- Elder Dushku, Pillars and Rays. GC, April 2024
- Alma 5:26
- Alma 32:37-42
- 2 Nephi 28:30; D&C 98:12
- D&C 88:63